BMD Examines: The Natural Order of Things

In most any discussion related to the conception, bearing and raising of children, there lies unspoken, the very present and pressing issue of preventing pregnancy. The 1960’s presented women with “the pill” as a safe and effective way to own our reproductive health and liberate us from the worry of bearing children outside of intention.

Today pharmaceutical companies, pill in hand, are pushing past god to offer us another more sinister, illusive kind of liberation; from the very cycle of life.

Dr. Susan Rako has this to say about the pharmaceutical industry’s attempts to “fix” the natural order of things:

"Tampering with the hormonal climate of healthy menstruating women, including teenage girls whose lives stretch ahead for decades, for the purpose of doing away with their periods is, in a word, reckless. Manipulating women’s hormonal chemistry for the purpose of menstrual suppression threatens to be the largest uncontrolled experiment in the history of medical science. Hands down.

What the media has not conveyed, what the public has not heard, what too few health professionals know, and what every woman and her doctor must know about the hazards of menstrual suppression deserves a voice. I am determined that it will have one."

Observing the radical shift in the medical community toward menstrual suppression as a viable option in women’s health, Dr. Rako sees not only a vast information gap for women, but a serious health crisis on the horizon. Drug companies and many health professionals are promoting the idea that it is okay, even preferable, for women to forgo their periods if they are not trying to get pregnant, and many women, when faced with the choice, are seriously considering that option. But what isn’t being discussed enough are the hazards of such suppression, risks that include osteoporosis, heart attacks, strokes, and cancer.

In her book “No More Periods?” Dr. Rako delves into the whys, hows, and musts of women’s gynecological health and takes a reasoned stand for believing that nature and our bodies have an intelligence about this critical issue.


The economics of our community coupled with a lack of adequate healthcare and a concerted move to call quackery our own intuitive knowing, has left too many black mothers undereducated and as a result, at the mercy of medical researchers who are more than willing to offer us a new, improved but untested way to do a dangerous thing.

Conscious conception is a critical issue and one that we must take seriously if we are to raise our children in settings unhampered by poverty and unpreparedness. But the idea that we would do something as counter-intuitive as shutting down completely, a physiological system put in place at our own inception, begs questioning and examination that is not likely to take place in a doctors office.

BMD Examines: The Power (and politics) of Presentation

Phillipe Copeland challenges the spin of image and perception when it comes to the examination of white teenagers and pregnancy versus that of black teenagers.

Phillipe writes: "For many the unmarried, black teenage mother has become a virtual icon of the alleged depravity and decline of "black culture". How often do you hear pundits, politicians and intellectuals bemoaning the depravity and decline of "white culture" because sometimes a young white woman gets pregnant when she didn't plan to? Like so called "black on black" crime, it appears that the rules are different when a white teenager gets pregnant."


It seems that in the wake of the Jaime Spears revelation we have an opportunity to see with clear lenses how a set of circumstances for black teenagers can be used to focus the collective conscience on carelessness, moral depravity and a dearth of hope while that same situation in the life of a white teenager acts a perfect opportunity to focus on maturity, courage and the potential to overcome obstacles.

What do you think about the disparity in portrayal? How much of its negative effects do you think would be avoided by pulling our children away from the television where they are constantly being packaged in one stereotypical way or another?

Do you think that as parents of black children it is imperative that we provide our children with every opportunity to be encouraged and self affirming, even when the action is less than skillful? Generations of young people having babies has proven that as difficult as it might be, the ultimate outcome is not always so grin and detrimental.

BMD Examines: And When He is older He Shall Not Depart?

Maybe as a result of it being the holiday season and as such, a time when people more openly share their particular spiritual beliefs and practices, discussions abound in which it seems a significant shift is taking place in the belief systems and resulting practices of this generation of parents versus past generations.

Perhaps you are a Buddhist with Baptist parents or make Wud'u where you used to offer Penance.

BMD wants to know whether you are you raising your children in the same religious or spiritual tradition in which your parents raised you? And if not, how does the practice of a different religion or spiritual metaphor affect the relationship between your immediate and extended family?

Is there room enough for close family ties that include a variety of spiritual/religious belief systems and practices? Or has it proven too far a curve ball to fetch?

how do you teach a thing like THIS?

Jasai - 31
Los Angeles, CA
2 children - 1 boy (12), 1 girl (6)


“Mom,” my son says in the kind of tone that lets me know what he is about to say is troubling, “Oren always says nigga.”

I pause.

And then I unload.

“Why would he feel like he can say that around you?!!”

Blank face.

“There is no way he is saying that if you are not!!”

Guilty face

“Do you think I know any Jewish people who would think it was okay to say that word around me???!!”

Appalled face

“Do you know that he is hurling offense at you, your family and every other black person you know when he says that??!!”

Sullen face

I went on this way until I could not untangle all the things my head and fighting heart wanted me to say.


You see, Oren is my son’s energetic if academically oblivious Jewish friend. I have my issues with him for this and other reasons but since they have a similar hobby in skateboarding and my son’s grades don’t reflect Oren’s work habits, I let it slide. But no more.

How do you teach a young black boy that you do not compromise on an issue like this? That as an emerging black man in America, there is no room to acquiesce to the ignorant tide of individuals, media and even other black folk who think that word has simply become part of the American lexicon like “homey”, “dude” and “man”. And that never is he to conform to such ignorance in order to save a friendship. Never.

I assured him that there was is no way Oren would continue to be his friend if he tossed derogatory names for Jews up and down their jr. high school hallways.

He tells me Oren says these things because he watches David Chapelle. I tell him I could give a damn why he says it.

But I will not tolerate it or teach my son that it is acceptable for him to tolerate it.

the truth about bureaucracy and the breast

Jennifer James
Chapel Hill, NC
2 children - girls



Did you know that there are only 56 Baby Friendly Hospitals in the United States out of 19,000 worldwide? Did you also know that when black mothers give birth in Baby Friendly Hospitals, their breastfeeding rates go up significantly?

In 2001, a research team from Boston University Medical School and Boston Medical Center tracked the results of Boston Medical Center attaining its Baby Friendly Hospital designation. Not only did their breastfeeding initiation rates go from 58 percent to 87 percent over four years, the rate of black mothers who initiated breastfeeding rose from 34 percent to 74 percent. That's drastic. That's significant. That's remarkable.

Additionally, a study released on May 15 states that when a child is born in an inner-city, baby-friendly hospital breatfeeding rates are comparable to national breastfeeding averages.


Since 1991, hospitals and maternity and birthing centers around the world have been awarded Baby Friendly recognition, but it's not easy. Each hospital and birthing center has to comply with ten specific steps set up by the WHO and UNICEF in order to call themselves baby friendly and cannot "accept free or low-cost breastmilk substitutes or feeding bottles".


Of course, we know this poses a difficult challenge for most hospitals both in America and worldwide because of the sweeping dominance of formula companies. Money talks, to be sure.


What this says to me: This says that the vast majority of hospitals in the United States would rather sell out the health of babies and instead accept lucrative contracts from baby formula manufacturers under the guise of giving mothers feeding options for their babies. This is clearly reprehensible.


If you are a pregnant mom, please consider supporting Baby Friendly Hospitals that are doing the right thing and thinking about the well being and health of babies and not their budgets and pocketbooks.

*Jennifer James is the Editor of MommyToo and many other blogs which focus on the health and well-being of mothers and children of color in America.

BMD Examines “The Warrior Method”

Nature vs. Nurture vs. Negative Proof*

Part of what “The Warrior Method” seeks to examine is how much of the way in which our boys view themselves and are viewed by our society, has to do with the social (read: racial) forces that gently film over the very eyes through which they perceive their Being. Although the text and it’s author do not allow for wholesale “blaming” of the social order for the behavior and circumstances of black boys in this country, its position begs caution to parents/guardians/educators and concerned citizens, insisting that we not allow the very present effects of society’s personal, political and institutional biases against our boys to go unexamined.

Dr. Winbush writes:

“As an educator who specializes in the development of African American adolescents, I am constantly asked if there are any successful techniques to be used to help raise healthy, confident African American males. Of course. But far from easy because psychologists and educators are reluctant to offer techniques that factor in the role of racism in the development of African American boys. The preferred method of explaining black male behavior is to focus on internal rather than external issues that determine their lifestyles.

“Not so clear however is why explanations of white adolescent behavior are commonly offered in the context of how social forces shape their behavior. Mary Pipher’s best selling book Reviving Ophelia discusses how sexism plays a nefarious role in the development of white females, particularly as it relates to their dependence on male approval. It is nearly unthinkable to exclude social factors in explaining white adolescent behavior, yet explanations of black adolescent behavior often focus on the internal pathologies of black life in America.”

Despite being a mother who is adamant that my son understand and execute an exacting measure of personal responsibility, it is impossible for me to disregard what I see as - more clearly as the years pass - a carefully orchestrated, if unconscious, campaign at the most fundamental levels of society, to see our sons take their place at the awful bottom of all things.

I suspect that there are many mothers who fear acknowledging this fact will relegate them to the ranks of those who buck-pass, shirk or even worse, give their son(s) the impressions that any outside intent could ultimately determine his fate.

Is this a legitimate concern? Are there mamas who feel like this is a phantom dilemma?

*Negative proof is defined as that which occurs when there are two competing explanations, and neither can be confirmed by observation.

Visit your local bookseller and purchase The Warrior Method by Dr. Raymond Winbush

Objectifying Black Babies...A Teacher's Comment to My Child

Trula
Cleveland, OH
3 Children - 2 boys (9)(12),1 girl(18)

Recently in one of my daughter's classes her teacher said she wanted to find a black man to have black babies with because 'they are so cute'. She then singled my daughter out, the only black person in the class, to ask her if she agreed with her. I-bop said she tried to be non-comittal and change the subject, but the teacher persisted. Then after school i-bop went to talk it over with the assistant principal, who then talks to the teacher about it.

Then this woman went to the drama practice (i-bop is rehearsing, she's in the spring play) all crying and AGAIN putting i-bop on the spot, talking crap about how it's an 'aesthetic' thing like preferring the color pink and she just loves black people blah blah blah. Then she left.

I am writing a letter to her & the assitant principal but I am super-pissed right now. I have to be careful how I word things lest these people dismiss me and i-bop as 'angry black women'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok here is the letter I just emailed to her:

Hello Ms. ------,

My daughter ------ is a student in a Spanish language class of yours. She bought to my attention comments you made yesterday (2/28/07) about wanting to find a black man to have a child with, because you feel black babies are so cute. You also singled her out to ask her opinion on the matter, I presume because as the sole black person in the class you wanted her to validate your opinion.

I find your comments offensive and problematic to say the least. I am certain that you meant no harm, however I am unable to ignore or excuse your conduct because I am appalled at your lack of sensitivity and unprofessional behavior. Your job is to teach, not to express to students your racial preferences in regard to your future mate. Regardless of the context this subject came up in, as the teacher and the adult you should have re-directed the conversation and kept your race opinions to yourself.

I also feel compelled to tell you why your comments are so ignorant, because you repeated them again when you apologized to ------, and again when you called my home and discussed this with my husband (------). This tells me you are truly confused as to why your comments are ignorant and offensive. Ms. ------, blackness is no more a monolith than whiteness is, but that, among other things, is implied by your comments. Not to mention your complete and utter objectification of black babies and black people. Black babies are not little inanimate dolls for you to play with and talk about how cute they are because of maybe their features, skin color, and hair is so different from yours. They are living breathing people just like white babies.

After ------ told me the things you said when you came down to her drama practice (how it's just an 'aesthetic' thing and it's your 'preference') it became painfully obvious to me that you are simply unaware of how obtuse your feelings are in regards to this matter. Ms. ------, choosing a partner and subsequent child is not like picking a color scheme for your house.

There is so much range and diversity among black people, just like among white people or any other 'race', but you seem unaware of that. Your comment that you'd like to find a black man to have a black baby with indicates that you think we are all the same. Which black man? Will he be the same religion as you? Will he share similar political views? Have the same morals, values, and code of ethics as you? Or are those things irrelevant to you as long as he is black and can give you a cute black baby to play with? Ms. ------, I am told you have grown white children. Surely when you chose to be with their father, there were a lot of things you considered. Understand that when choosing to be with someone not of your race background the very same factors should be considered as well. If you are unable or unwilling to understand that, at the very least keep your fetishizing of black people to yourself.

I am certain that you still do not see your comments as wrong since you repeated them 3 times. You probably feel they were benign or even positive comments. I want you to understand I am not attacking you; rather my concern is about what you said and its effect on my child. I would like you to understand that racism isn't only about hating on other races. It is also embedded in the seemingly innocent ways that we think, talk, and respond to a race not our own. On the surface your comments may seem like a benevolent statement but when looked at through the lenses of American history and a person of the race being discussed, they are very rooted in racist ideas.

I would also like to point out to you, that whether ----- or another black person was in the class or not, your comments were inappropriate to the white students as well. You should not assume all white people believe erroneous ideas like this such as yourself, and you did your white students a grave disservice by assuming they did or that they would not be offended. In short, it was wrong of you to discuss your
racial preferences in choosing a mate to your students, period. You owe the whole class an apology.

Finally, your coming to ------ at her drama practice being all loud and crying was wrong. While I appreciate your apology...Thank You! I resent your putting her on the spot in front of her peers again and I am deeply saddened that you repeated your statements again to her. And the crying...give me a break. Ms. ------, what on earth did YOU have to cry about? And I am struggling to understand why you came at my daughter like that. As her teacher and an adult you are already in a position of authority over her. I feel your crying was a manipulative ploy to make her feel responsible for your mistake and that it was her fault simply because she spoke up. Perhaps it was subconscious, but surely upon reflection you can see why I feel your response was selfish, completely disregarded ------'s feelings, and made her feel bad for speaking up about your highly inappropriate comments.

------ did nothing wrong here. She tried to avoid being drawn in the discussion in the first place and she then voiced her concerns to the assistant principal. We have lived in ------, a primarily white, conservative community, for going on 7 years and in all this time my daughter has been a model of self-restraint when dealing with racist comments, from out-and-out racial slurs to comments like yours from students. She is not known for being a 'race-agitator' or as being overly sensitive to race comments, Ms. ------, because she is not. ------ tries her best to get along with the majority white population of students here, and she often, quite often ignores race comments said to her at the high school by the white students in the interest of getting along. So when she expressed how disturbed she was by what you said and your subsequent apology I could tell she was deeply hurt. The one time she speaks up to a person of authority the teacher acts like it's her fault? How dare you.

I am forwarding this letter to the principal and assistant principal. I am also writing a letter to the superintendent of ------ City Schools, including this letter and a suggestion of sensitivity training in regards to racial issues for ------ City teachers. It is not my desire or intention to get you into any trouble, rather I want a written record that this occurred and my suggestion of sensitivity training noted, if nothing else. I am disturbed that any teacher in ------ City schools would make a comment such as this. The reason we decided to live here was because of the caliber of the school system. I am truly dumbfounded that a teacher would make such comments as I did not expect that from a professional within the school system. You have deeply disappointed me, Ms. ------. I hope you do not further disappoint me by acting out against ------ academically or singling her out in any way regarding this matter again. Rest assured, if you do, I will take appropriate measures.

Sincerely,
Ms. Breckenridge

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